To read more in the Living series—a selection of lessons I learned in India—see the posts “Living Fearless” and “Living Open, Connected and Vulnerable.”
So much has shifted in the past few days. I feel deeply at home here and, honestly, I don’t want to leave. It’s surprising to realize I’ve only been away for two weeks; it feels much longer in the best possible way. India is quickly becoming a home away from home, and I already know I’ll be back.
Many of the people I grew close to here have begun moving on to new destinations. While I’ve been tempted to follow them, I kept choosing to stay at the ashram for this leg of the trip. That choice, and my willingness to be spontaneous without the familiar anxiety, shows me how much more comfortable and confident I’m becoming. I’m learning to trust myself in the unknown.
Before this trip I promised myself I would open fully to whatever came my way—a practice I rarely allow at home out of fear of emotional pain, losing control, or being overwhelmed. I committed to saying YES more often. I followed through. I made close friends, accepted invitations that felt risky, and lived each day with intention. Saying yes has created moments I’ll carry with me long after I leave.
One of the harder parts of this openness has been handling the feelings of rejection and abandonment that surface when friends leave. Observing my reactions and journaling for hours has given me clear insight into how I protect myself—how I often keep relationships at arm’s length in case they’re taken away. That protective pattern has cost me connections and experiences.
What’s become clear is that the value of saying YES isn’t tied to how long someone stays in my life. The experiences themselves—the conversations, the lessons, the laughter—remain with me. Choosing not to engage out of fear only limits the depth of life I can have. That realization is a lesson I’m bringing home with me.
I have only four more days here. My goal is to nail my headstand and sit in meditation as much as possible before I head back to Canada. Originally I planned a very safe, timetable-driven route: a quick ride to Trivandrum airport, a long layover in Mumbai, then onward to London and Calgary. That plan felt comfortable and low-risk, but I’ve decided to stretch myself and explore a little more.
Yes—me, exploring alone. It feels both funny and liberating.
The plan is to ride to Trivandrum with a few yogis at 6 a.m. My flight departs at 1 p.m., so after dropping everyone at the airport I’ll ask the driver to take me to one of his favorite nearby spots. I’m hoping for one last masala dosa and some pomegranate juice, and I’d love to pick up a few more inexpensive pieces of clothing before heading back to the airport. If all goes well, I’ll grab a rickshaw to return in time to catch my flight to Mumbai.
My Mumbai flight arrives around 1:30 p.m., and my next flight to London leaves early the following morning. Since I’ll already be going through security and collecting my bag, I plan to take a rickshaw into town to the area around the Taj hotel—not to stay there, but to explore the shops and restaurants nearby. I’ll spend the day wandering markets, trying local food, and maybe even catching a Bollywood film if time permits. I want to soak up as much of India as possible before boarding the next plane.
I could write for days about the people I’ve met, the small lessons, the sounds and tastes, and the photographs I’ve taken. For now I’ll stop—we have a break for lunch and I’m ready to go. I hope you’re well, cooking nourishing meals, and enjoying the guest posts here at HP. I’ll write more soon.
Bye for now 🙂