When my daughter began school, someone wise told me that I needed to be an advocate for her education—because if I didn’t, no one else would be. Merriam-Webster defines advocate as champion, upholder, supporter, promoter, spokesperson, campaigner, fighter, and crusader.
Sonya Carson understood what it means to advocate for a child’s learning. She devoted herself to her sons’ education. As a single mother in inner-city Detroit with only a third-grade education and working multiple jobs, she replaced television time with library visits and required weekly book reports after learning her younger son was struggling. Although she could not read all the reports herself, she marked them with red checks to encourage her boys. Her determination transformed their lives—her younger son, once labeled “dummy,” went on to a remarkable medical career. All because his mother took action.
Sonya’s example shows that any parent who is committed can make a profound difference. Not every family faces the same challenges she did, but every parent shares the responsibility to notice whether their children are learning and to act when they are not. Many parents want to be more involved but feel frustrated by barriers: children not bringing textbooks home, unfamiliar teaching methods, or feeling unqualified to help. Those obstacles can be overcome. Below are practical tips to help you become an effective advocate for your child’s success.
Don’t Let Textbooks, Teaching Methods, or Feeling Unqualified Keep You from Being Involved
Schools exist to educate, and most want to do a good job. Still, parents must be proactive rather than waiting for everything to come to them.
Textbooks
If your child needs access to reading material or other texts at home, ask the teacher. Many classrooms allow students to check out textbooks overnight or to borrow materials for short periods—but only if you request it. Send an email, write a note, or make a quick visit. If a full textbook can’t go home, ask the teacher to photocopy the relevant pages or to leave lesson pages in your child’s folder. If the teacher lacks copying resources, call the school office and explain you want to support your child’s learning; often the office can assist.
Schools are usually willing to help a parent who is sincerely committed. You might also discover tutoring programs, before- or after-school help, or extra time the teacher can offer during planning periods. But you have to persist. Many parents accept the first “no” and give up; don’t be one of them.
In truth, you don’t always need the school’s exact textbook to help with core topics like fractions, grammar, or the water cycle. Bookstores, teacher supply stores, and online marketplaces offer affordable workbooks. The internet has countless free tutorials and printable worksheets you can use. If you’re unsure exactly what your child struggles with, ask the teacher, schedule a conference, and come prepared with notes and questions. As parents, it’s our responsibility to supplement and reinforce our children’s education when needed.
Methods and Processes
Teaching methods change over time. You may try to help your child using steps you remember from your own school days, only to create confusion because the classroom follows a different process. Often both approaches lead to the same answer, but the teacher may be using a specific method as preparation for later topics. If you don’t understand the classroom method, make an appointment with the teacher. Most will gladly explain and even “tutor” you in the steps they use.
Approach the conversation respectfully. Teachers often face heavy workloads and frequent criticism, so a cooperative, nonaccusatory tone gets better results. Saying, “I want to practice with Johnny at home—could you show me the method you use?” is far more productive than saying, “We have no idea what you’re doing.” When you show willingness to work with the teacher, rather than against them, you’ll usually find support.
Be prepared to adjust your schedule to meet when the teacher is available—often during planning periods or before or after school. These are the teacher’s professional hours, and meeting then is reasonable. The focus is helping your child, so make the effort to attend.
Again, the internet can be a great ally. A short search for “how to teach [topic]” often turns up clear tutorials and examples you can use to prepare for practice sessions at home.
Don’t Let What You Don’t Know or Remember Hold You Back
It’s normal not to remember every topic your child studies. When my son asked about imaginary numbers, it took only minutes online to refresh my memory. Sometimes relearning takes more time, but parents can and do learn alongside their children. Our ability to learn isn’t broken; it just requires effort and curiosity. Take the time to learn or relearn what’s needed to help your child succeed.
Parenting and school partnership aren’t easy. There’s a cultural temptation to expect schools to handle everything once children are dropped off. But we are the parents—the ultimate responsibility for our children’s development rests with us, not solely with the school system. Will we stay involved, notice when our kids aren’t getting what they need, and take charge of their educational experience? Will we be advocates like Sonya Carson?
If we do not advocate for our child’s education, no one else will.